It’s the Friday before my “A” race of the season on Sunday.

I’m in that place where you just aren’t sure if you kept up enough with workouts (I missed a LOT this season), you are second-guessing the fuel plan (even though I’ve practiced a lot and done this before), and whether your body will show up in one piece and ready that morning instead of sluggish and “missing something.” I’m eating the foods, drinking the water, getting the “rest.” I’ve done the race plan, I’ve gone the same distances as Toughman TN last year, and Nate and I even rode this course two weeks ago (although we got a little bit lost…). My coach says I’m plenty fit for this. Nate says I’m plenty fit for this. But what if…?!?

Races in Tennessee are basically backyard compared to an Ironman event – I think there are like 150 people in my age group (compared to 5 or 6)!

I always like to think of the upswing on things – I’ve done this distance before, the weather should be nice (albeit raining) but the truth is the few days leading up to and during I get a LOT of information from my brain about how I am feeling at that second, and a lot of it is more along the lines of, “why am I here? I can’t do this, my legs are just done, my brain is just over it; I’m not ready for this.”

Adding to that is the constant job of parenting – being a mom means there really isn’t any down time before or after the race. Nate puts up with me and takes his due time with the kids, but he needs to have a little bit of a life, too. We have tried to keep the balance. I am just so thankful for him AND the fact he isn’t training for anything right now… it is just nature that his workouts take precedence and mine “fit” where they can – not his fault.

We are in the midst of a PCS move to Chicago, so we are temporarily staying with family members for 8 WEEKS.  Getting workouts done while keeping the baby safe in non-baby-proofed spaces is exhausting and near impossible. Big sister is helpful but baby is HUGE and there is just no way she can stop him from being… well… him. And our families have been wonderful, but 8 weeks is a long time to ask grandparents to watch your crazy kids!

So here we are, in the middle of moving to somewhere we’ve never been, closing on our house sale today, living out of a suitcase with two toddlers, training for a half ironman- trying to keep our sanity.

One of my favorite quotes is by two-time Ironman World Champion, Chris McCormack:

“You don’t play triathlon. You play soccer: it’s fun. You play baseball. Triathlon is work that can leave you crumpled in a heap, puking by the roadside. It’s the physical brutality of climbing Mount Everest without the great view from the top of the world. What kind of person keeps coming back for more of that?”

See you on the other side!!

B